A Cardiologist's Funeral...
A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very
elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life...
A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during
the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket was rolled
inside.The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful
heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all
eyes stared at him, he said, 'I am so sorry, I was just thinking of
my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist.'
The proctologist fainted.
The Badge...
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown
drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over
there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the
authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear
pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the
rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever
I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I
made myself clear? Do you understand? "
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA
officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis
bull......
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems
likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is
clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence
and yells at the top of his lungs.....
" Your badge.. Show him your BADGE ! "
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
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