A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph,enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-85, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring.
He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this,"and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his cruiser and walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said.
"Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before,I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused for only a second.
Then he answered, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Thursday...Horrorscope
Greetings Peggy --
Here is your horoscope for Thursday, May 15:
Don't worry too much if you can't make up your mind today -- that's just part of the game. Every now and then, your decision-making powers take a break, so you ought to be able to wait it out.
Holy Moly Crap! Just when I thought I had it all figured out...Damn Cosmos!
Cross this off the list Willy...Willy?
Disclaimer: Penguin Practical Jokes * did NOT put the polar bears on the endangered species list...much.
*Also known as PPJ'S sometimes confused with PBJ'S (Penguin Bad Jokes..or was that the sandwich thing..wait now I'm confused)
Here is your horoscope for Thursday, May 15:
Don't worry too much if you can't make up your mind today -- that's just part of the game. Every now and then, your decision-making powers take a break, so you ought to be able to wait it out.
Holy Moly Crap! Just when I thought I had it all figured out...Damn Cosmos!
Cross this off the list Willy...Willy?
Disclaimer: Penguin Practical Jokes * did NOT put the polar bears on the endangered species list...much.
*Also known as PPJ'S sometimes confused with PBJ'S (Penguin Bad Jokes..or was that the sandwich thing..wait now I'm confused)
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Tuesday...Thought For The Day
If you must choose between two evils...
Pick the one you've never tried before.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Friday...Uh Oh
An older couple is lying in bed one morning.
They had just awakened from a good night's sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asked.
She answered, "Because I'm dead."
The husband asks, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!"
She said, "No, I'm definitely dead."
He insisted, "You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
They had just awakened from a good night's sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asked.
She answered, "Because I'm dead."
The husband asks, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!"
She said, "No, I'm definitely dead."
He insisted, "You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
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