Tinkle
A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked
robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.
Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in
because it was too risky to operate...
She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.
All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in
tears.
'What's wrong?' asked the mother. 'I was taking a tinkle and this bullet
came out,' replied the daughter.
The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.
About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.
'Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out.'
Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16
years ago.
A week later her son walked into the room in tears. 'It's okay' said the
Mom, 'I know what happened You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came
out.'
'No,' said the boy, 'I was playing with my self and I shot the dog.'
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Monday...Ghosts In The Machine..AKA..Computer Problems
Thats an understatement...
I'm working on it!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday...To My Blogging Friends
See you next year.This one's been a blast and things can only get better.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday...Loose Lips...OMG!
LOOSE LIPS:
"If you don't send your boyfriend naked pictures,
then I feel bad for him." – Rihanna, revealing that the nude
pictures leaked of her in May were a gift for her ex Chris
Brown, to New York City radio station Hot 97
What a wonderful role model for our children...GAH!
"If you don't send your boyfriend naked pictures,
then I feel bad for him." – Rihanna, revealing that the nude
pictures leaked of her in May were a gift for her ex Chris
Brown, to New York City radio station Hot 97
What a wonderful role model for our children...GAH!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday...Annoying Monday
101 Ways To Annoy People...77 through 101
77. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
78. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
79. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
80. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
81. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
82. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
83. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
84. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
85. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
86. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
87. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
88. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
89. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
90. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
91. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
92. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
93. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
94. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
95. Drive half a block.
96. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
97. Ask people what gender they are.
98. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
99. Regift a gift that was regifted to you to the person that gave it in the first place.
100. Thank the person who gave it to you in front of the person you gave it to.
101. Ask people to read annoying lists........; )
.
77. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
78. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
79. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
80. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
81. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
82. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
83. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
84. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
85. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
86. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
87. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
88. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
89. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
90. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
91. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
92. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
93. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
94. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
95. Drive half a block.
96. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
97. Ask people what gender they are.
98. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
99. Regift a gift that was regifted to you to the person that gave it in the first place.
100. Thank the person who gave it to you in front of the person you gave it to.
101. Ask people to read annoying lists........; )
.
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