Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Monday...Annoying Monday
101 Ways To Annoy People...51 Thru 76
51. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
52. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
53. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
54. Sniffle incessantly.
55. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
56. Name your dog "Dog."
57. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
58. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
59. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
60. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
61. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
62. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
63. Practice making fax and modem noises.
64. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
65. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
66. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
67. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
68. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
69. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
70. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
71. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
72. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
73. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
74. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
76. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
What a surprise..Another Tom and "Friends" Showing Today!
51. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
52. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
53. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
54. Sniffle incessantly.
55. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
56. Name your dog "Dog."
57. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
58. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
59. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
60. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
61. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
62. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
63. Practice making fax and modem noises.
64. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
65. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
66. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
67. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
68. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
69. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
70. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
71. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
72. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
73. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
74. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
76. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
What a surprise..Another Tom and "Friends" Showing Today!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Friday...Holiday Home Tour...Fail
Due to circustances beyond my control...^%&*@^& camera...I will have to post my pictures later this weekend..
I'm sorry * insert frowny face here *
I AM however coming to visit you....I will even BMOB...LOL!
Enjoy this picture until I get there...
I'm sorry * insert frowny face here *
I AM however coming to visit you....I will even BMOB...LOL!
Enjoy this picture until I get there...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday...Annoying Monday..
101 Ways To Annoy People...26 thru 50
26. Drum on every available surface.
27. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
29. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
20. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
30. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
31. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
32. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
33. Set alarms for random times.
34. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
35. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
36. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
37. Honk and wave to strangers.
38. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
39. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
40. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
41. Wear your pants backwards.
42. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
43. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
44. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
45. only type in lowercase.
46. dont use any punctuation either
47. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
48. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
49. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
50. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
A New Tom and "Friends" Present Is Ready For Your Viewing Pleasure...
26. Drum on every available surface.
27. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
29. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
20. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
30. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
31. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
32. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
33. Set alarms for random times.
34. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
35. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
36. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
37. Honk and wave to strangers.
38. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
39. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
40. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
41. Wear your pants backwards.
42. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
43. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
44. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
45. only type in lowercase.
46. dont use any punctuation either
47. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
48. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
49. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
50. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
A New Tom and "Friends" Present Is Ready For Your Viewing Pleasure...
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