Friday Funnies...

Picture Day...


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.




"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'




A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,she's dead."












The Doctor Visit...


An 88-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."



The next day the 88 year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.The doctor asked what happened and the man explained.



"Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, and still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."



The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"



The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get that dang jar open!"