Monday...Annoying Monday

101 Ways To Annoy People...1 thru 25



1. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

2. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

3. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

4. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

5. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

6. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

7.Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

8.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

9.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

10.Wear a LOT of cologne.

11.Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

12.Sing along at the opera.

13.Mow your lawn with scissors.

14.At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

15. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

16. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

17. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

18. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

19. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

20. Never make eye contact.

21. Never break eye contact..

22. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

23. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

24. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

25. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.