Monday...Annoying Monday

101 Ways To Annoy People...1 thru 25



1. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

2. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

3. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

4. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

5. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

6. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

7.Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

8.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

9.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

10.Wear a LOT of cologne.

11.Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

12.Sing along at the opera.

13.Mow your lawn with scissors.

14.At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

15. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

16. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

17. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

18. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

19. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

20. Never make eye contact.

21. Never break eye contact..

22. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

23. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

24. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

25. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Friday...Countdown To Christmas

Wicked Wednesday..The Frosty Edition

Tuesday...Let The Festivities Begin!

Friday...Black Friday...Thank Goddess For Interweb Shopping!

Thursday...Happy Thanksgiving To All My Blogging Buddies.

Wicked Wednesday...One Lonely Joke...But It's A Good One!

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the
door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.

'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.
'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.
'Love dress? But you're naked!'
'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.
'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.'



The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
'What are you doing?' he asked.
'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.


'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'


Joke supplied by my lovely sister who has an equally wicked sense of humor...