Another funny I found...

A Thanksgiving Poem

Author Unknown

Twas the night of Thanksgiving but I just couldn't sleep I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.

The leftovers beckoned - the dark meat and white. But I fought the temptation with all of my might

Tossing and turning with anticipation the thought of a snack became infatuation.

So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.

Gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes, pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,'til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.

I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.

But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees. . .

"Happy eating to all - pass the cranberries, please

May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump.

May your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump,

May your yams be delicious. May your pies take the prize.

May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.

May your Thanksgiving be truly blessed!!"

Happy Thanksgiving !

The Good Ol' Days......

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."

I am lazy today...

Nothing interesting to write about today ...So I added a link to the bottom of my blog page ..Go if you dare...LOL. (Don't be scared it's only my Webshots albums)

And some pre-holiday dieting advice.....

No ,this isn't me ..I'm much taller.

My favorite things...Today

Favorite Thing # 1..Things to do

Books..I love'em..I read everything,but I seem to be stuck on supernatural fiction at the moment.

Charlaine Harris and her: Southern Vampire Series and Julie Kenner with her :Adventures of a Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom...

Favorite Thing # 2

Computer Games..Hidden Picture, Mystery,The Sims2,Etc. "The Boy" and I spend a lot of,how shall I say it..Quality time..pondering clues and uncovering

those pesky hidden pics!

Favorite Thing # 3..Television Shows

I think I sense a theme here as Supernatural was my fav T.V. show ( I do like me some Dean and Sam Winchester) but I can't get it anymore except through Netflix. Now I Tivo the new show Cane and My Name Is Earl..Cane because of Jimmy Smits and Earl ...I'm not sure about Earl except I kinda like the karma thing...(my EX- in-laws should be in this show)...ACCKK!

Favorite Thing # 4....Food

This has been a strange week for me, food wise..I've had a hankering for Peanut Butter and Banana sandwiches..No I'm not channeling Elvis..He liked his fried in butter...A tall glass of chocolate milk and I'm good to go!

Sorry this is the after picture....OOPS!

Favorite Thing # 4...Movies

I've always been an action flick kinda gal...(Back in the day.. Indiana Jones, Star Wars) A good car chase and shoot'em up and I'm there.Of course I won't pass up any Pirates (that we know) or Hobbits or Wizards. I am so easily entertained..LOL... ( This pics for you mrs.g. :p)

My humble opinion is that life is too short to be stuck with one or two favorite things..Don't get me wrong I have places in my heart that are etched in stone..All I'm saying is try new things everyday and pick up some new "favorites" along the way.....Check back next week...Who knows, maybe a nice Chanti and some Fava beans.. And some Sweeny Todd....Interesting.

Grandmas Thanksgiving Rules

Grandma loves you but here are the rules...

1.Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad?Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it?"Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat anything.

2.If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your butt down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.

3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort their little butts to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that they are bleeding to death, I will tear their butts up and you better not ask why!

4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes.

5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be asked to keep your greedy butt home next year!

6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing your self a plate in my good Tupperware knowing that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding. And why are you making plates before you eat? You never bring a dish or offer a dime do you?

7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF MY DOMAIN!!!

8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER ! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DSS!

9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and go home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICKED OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring.

10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET.

Postcards from the fridge...

A young couple purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and the wife was concerned about the house's lack of insulation.

"If they could live here all those years, so can we!" the husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and they woke up to find interior walls covered with frost.

The husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.

"SO? What did they do?" the wife asked.

"For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

Celebrity Bric-a-Brac Theatre: The Story of Thanksgiving

This ain't your Grannys Thanksgiving