Saturday...Happily Ever After..It's Your Choice

Curtain Rods



When the divorce was final, she spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.



When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.



When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.



Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.



The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was,he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.



She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the former husband and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home......including the curtain rods.



I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

Thursday...Lost and Found Section

Found: A new wine at ye olde grocer.

Lost: Ability to NOT buy (and try) wines with goofy names.

To be continued...

Wicked Wednesday...Extreme Flashing

Sunday Funnies...Go Grandpa!

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph,enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-85, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring.

He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this,"and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his cruiser and walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said.

"Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before,I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused for only a second.
Then he answered, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.