Saturday...Blonde Joke Alert

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit.
The prosecutor opened his questioning with,
"Where were you the night of August 24th?"
"Objection!"the defense attorney cried out while jumping to his feet. "Irrelevant!"
"Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question."
"I object!" the defense said again,mopping his sweaty brow.
"No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."
The judge ruled "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."
So the prosecutor turned back to the witness and smugly repeated the question
" SOOOO...Where were you the night of August 24th?"
To which the blonde replied brightly, "I don't know!"

Wicked Wednesday...Amen Sister

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked,
"How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any." She replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight." she replied.
"Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and sporting a huge smile said,
"I outlived the bitches."

Monday...Groundhog Day

Want more Groundhog Day? Go here and here and here to continue the fun!

Sunday...The Super Bowl

Here are a few handy tips for your Super Bowl Par-tay enjoyment.

Need help predicting the winner? Try this for a new perspective on the game...

WARNING:

THE SITE SHOWN ABOVE IS NOT FOR CHILDREN OR PEOPLE WHO THINK DARK HUMOR ISN'T THERAPEUTIC...

Have a great Super Bowl Sunday!