Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Monday...Annoying Monday
101 Ways To Annoy People...51 Thru 76
51. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
52. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
53. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
54. Sniffle incessantly.
55. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
56. Name your dog "Dog."
57. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
58. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
59. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
60. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
61. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
62. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
63. Practice making fax and modem noises.
64. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
65. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
66. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
67. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
68. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
69. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
70. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
71. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
72. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
73. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
74. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
76. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
What a surprise..Another Tom and "Friends" Showing Today!
51. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
52. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
53. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
54. Sniffle incessantly.
55. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
56. Name your dog "Dog."
57. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
58. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
59. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
60. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
61. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
62. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
63. Practice making fax and modem noises.
64. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
65. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
66. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
67. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
68. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
69. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
70. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
71. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
72. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
73. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
74. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
76. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
What a surprise..Another Tom and "Friends" Showing Today!
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