Friday, December 19, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Monday...Another Non-Christmas Joke
The Old Scottish Golfer...
The doctor is amazed at what good shape his patient was in and asks,
"How do you stay in such great physical condition?"
"I'm Scottish and I am a golfer"' says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a wee glass of whisky, and all is well."
"Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?"
"Who said my Da's deid?"
The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?"
"He's 100 years old," says the old Scottish golfer. "In fact he golfed wi' me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had anither wee dram and that's why he's still alive.He's Scottish and he's a golfer, too."
"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
"Who said my grandad's died?"
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?"
"He's 118 years old," says the old Scottish golfer.The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"
"No. Grandad couldnae go this mornin' because he's getting married today."
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married!! Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?"
"Who said he wanted to?"
The doctor is amazed at what good shape his patient was in and asks,
"How do you stay in such great physical condition?"
"I'm Scottish and I am a golfer"' says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a wee glass of whisky, and all is well."
"Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?"
"Who said my Da's deid?"
The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?"
"He's 100 years old," says the old Scottish golfer. "In fact he golfed wi' me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had anither wee dram and that's why he's still alive.He's Scottish and he's a golfer, too."
"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
"Who said my grandad's died?"
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?"
"He's 118 years old," says the old Scottish golfer.The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"
"No. Grandad couldnae go this mornin' because he's getting married today."
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married!! Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?"
"Who said he wanted to?"
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