Friday...In Honor Of Talk Like A Pirate Day...STUFF!

And of course one for Mrs. G.

Wicked Wednesday...Things You'll Never Hear In A Western Movie...

"I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"

"Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

"Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boy's room."

"Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"

"Y'know, Badlands Pete... a roaring campfire, good coffee, nice prairie breeze, just you 'n' me... what say we put on them rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?"

"Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three grams of fat,seven grams of protein, and two starches."

"You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

"That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"

"He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

"Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

"It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

"HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left....Oooh!Stop right there. Perfect!"

Tuesday..How Big Business Works...AKA...Crap Happens

In the Beginning there was The Plan.....( *Cue Angelic Chorus* )



And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without Form.

And the Plan was completely without Substance.

And The Darkness was upon the face of The Workers.

And they Spake among Themselves, Saying,

"It is a Crock of Shit Crap, And it Stinkith."



And The Workers went unto their Supervisors and Sayeth,

"It is a Pail of Dung and none may Abide the Odor Thereof"



And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and Sayeth unto them,

"It is a Container of Excrement and It is very strong, Such that None may Abide by It."



And the Managers went unto their Directors and Sayeth,

"It is a Vessel of Fertilizer, and None may Abide Its Strength."



And the Directors spoke amongst Themselves, Saying One to Another,

"It contains That Which Aids Plant Growth, and It is Very Strong."



And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and Sayeth unto Them,

"It promotes Growth and is Very Powerful."



And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and Sayeth unto Him,

"This New Plan will actively promote the Growth and Efficiency of This Company, and These Areas in Particular."



And The President looked upon The Plan And Saw that It Was Good.

And The Plan Became Policy.



This is how Shit Crap Happens...