Wicked Wednesday...Why men should not write advice columns

Dear Walter,

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in bed with the neighbors' daughter. I'm 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbors' daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I'd leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Sheila



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Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. I hope this helps,

WALTER

Tuesday...Safety Tips From Tom...Tip #23 Shipping Safety

When shipping yourself to Grandmas for the summer make sure you choose the right size box.It is almost certain that you have grown since the last time you tried this. Measure twice and pack once.This will insure a comfortable mailing experience.

Monday...Monday Morning Bridal Fair...Some Final Funnies

The points system for men! Now a simple way to show your guy what you really want before or after the wedding.It's always about the score of the game with them anyway...




Simple Duties:

You make the bed
+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows
0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets
-1
You leave the toilet seat up
-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty
0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex
-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom
-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings
+5
But return with beer
-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night
0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing
0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something
+5
You pummel it with a six iron
+10
It's her father
-10




Social Engagements:

You stay by her side the entire party
0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy
-2
Named Tiffany
-4
Tiffany is a dancer
-6
Tiffany has implants
-8




Her Birthday:

You take her out to dinner
0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar
+1
Okay, it is a sports bar
-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night
-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team
-10




A Night Out With The Boys:

Go out with a pal
-5
And the pal is happily married
-4
Or frighteningly single
-7
And he drives a Mustang
-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)
-15




A Night Out:

You take her to a movie
+2
You take her to a movie she likes
+4
You take her to a movie you hate
+6
You take her to a movie you like
-2
It's called DeathCop 3
-3
Which features cyborgs having sex
-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans
-15




Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable potbelly
-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it
+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts
-30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too"
-800




The Big Question:

She asks, "Do I look fat?"
-5
You hesitate in responding
-10
You reply, "Where?"
-35




Communication:

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression
0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes
+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV
+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep
-30