Monday...Monday Morning Bridal Fair...Some Final Funnies

The points system for men! Now a simple way to show your guy what you really want before or after the wedding.It's always about the score of the game with them anyway...




Simple Duties:

You make the bed
+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows
0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets
-1
You leave the toilet seat up
-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty
0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex
-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom
-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings
+5
But return with beer
-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night
0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing
0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something
+5
You pummel it with a six iron
+10
It's her father
-10




Social Engagements:

You stay by her side the entire party
0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy
-2
Named Tiffany
-4
Tiffany is a dancer
-6
Tiffany has implants
-8




Her Birthday:

You take her out to dinner
0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar
+1
Okay, it is a sports bar
-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night
-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team
-10




A Night Out With The Boys:

Go out with a pal
-5
And the pal is happily married
-4
Or frighteningly single
-7
And he drives a Mustang
-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)
-15




A Night Out:

You take her to a movie
+2
You take her to a movie she likes
+4
You take her to a movie you hate
+6
You take her to a movie you like
-2
It's called DeathCop 3
-3
Which features cyborgs having sex
-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans
-15




Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable potbelly
-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it
+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts
-30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too"
-800




The Big Question:

She asks, "Do I look fat?"
-5
You hesitate in responding
-10
You reply, "Where?"
-35




Communication:

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression
0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes
+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV
+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep
-30