Wicked Wednesday...My Sister Just Keeps'em Coming...

A Cardiologist's Funeral...


A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very

elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life...

A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during

the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket was rolled

inside.The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful

heart forever.



At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all

eyes stared at him, he said, 'I am so sorry, I was just thinking of

my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist.'


The proctologist fainted.





The Badge...


DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher.


He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown

drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over

there," as he points out the location.



The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the

authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear

pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the

rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever

I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I

made myself clear? Do you understand? "



The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.



A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA

officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis

bull......


With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems

likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is

clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence

and yells at the top of his lungs.....


" Your badge.. Show him your BADGE ! "