Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday...To My Blogging Friends
See you next year.This one's been a blast and things can only get better.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday...Loose Lips...OMG!
LOOSE LIPS:
"If you don't send your boyfriend naked pictures,
then I feel bad for him." – Rihanna, revealing that the nude
pictures leaked of her in May were a gift for her ex Chris
Brown, to New York City radio station Hot 97
What a wonderful role model for our children...GAH!
"If you don't send your boyfriend naked pictures,
then I feel bad for him." – Rihanna, revealing that the nude
pictures leaked of her in May were a gift for her ex Chris
Brown, to New York City radio station Hot 97
What a wonderful role model for our children...GAH!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday...Annoying Monday
101 Ways To Annoy People...77 through 101
77. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
78. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
79. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
80. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
81. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
82. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
83. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
84. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
85. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
86. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
87. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
88. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
89. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
90. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
91. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
92. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
93. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
94. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
95. Drive half a block.
96. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
97. Ask people what gender they are.
98. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
99. Regift a gift that was regifted to you to the person that gave it in the first place.
100. Thank the person who gave it to you in front of the person you gave it to.
101. Ask people to read annoying lists........; )
.
77. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
78. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
79. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
80. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
81. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
82. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
83. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
84. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
85. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
86. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
87. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
88. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
89. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
90. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
91. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
92. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
93. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
94. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
95. Drive half a block.
96. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
97. Ask people what gender they are.
98. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
99. Regift a gift that was regifted to you to the person that gave it in the first place.
100. Thank the person who gave it to you in front of the person you gave it to.
101. Ask people to read annoying lists........; )
.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Monday...Annoying Monday
101 Ways To Annoy People...51 Thru 76
51. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
52. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
53. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
54. Sniffle incessantly.
55. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
56. Name your dog "Dog."
57. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
58. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
59. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
60. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
61. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
62. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
63. Practice making fax and modem noises.
64. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
65. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
66. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
67. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
68. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
69. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
70. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
71. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
72. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
73. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
74. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
76. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
What a surprise..Another Tom and "Friends" Showing Today!
51. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
52. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
53. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
54. Sniffle incessantly.
55. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
56. Name your dog "Dog."
57. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
58. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
59. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
60. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
61. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
62. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
63. Practice making fax and modem noises.
64. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
65. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
66. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
67. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
68. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
69. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
70. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
71. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
72. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
73. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
74. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
76. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
What a surprise..Another Tom and "Friends" Showing Today!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Friday...Holiday Home Tour...Fail
Due to circustances beyond my control...^%&*@^& camera...I will have to post my pictures later this weekend..
I'm sorry * insert frowny face here *
I AM however coming to visit you....I will even BMOB...LOL!
Enjoy this picture until I get there...
I'm sorry * insert frowny face here *
I AM however coming to visit you....I will even BMOB...LOL!
Enjoy this picture until I get there...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday...Annoying Monday..
101 Ways To Annoy People...26 thru 50
26. Drum on every available surface.
27. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
29. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
20. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
30. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
31. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
32. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
33. Set alarms for random times.
34. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
35. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
36. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
37. Honk and wave to strangers.
38. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
39. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
40. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
41. Wear your pants backwards.
42. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
43. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
44. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
45. only type in lowercase.
46. dont use any punctuation either
47. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
48. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
49. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
50. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
A New Tom and "Friends" Present Is Ready For Your Viewing Pleasure...
26. Drum on every available surface.
27. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
29. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
20. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
30. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
31. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
32. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
33. Set alarms for random times.
34. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
35. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
36. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
37. Honk and wave to strangers.
38. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
39. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
40. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
41. Wear your pants backwards.
42. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
43. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
44. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
45. only type in lowercase.
46. dont use any punctuation either
47. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
48. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
49. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
50. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
A New Tom and "Friends" Present Is Ready For Your Viewing Pleasure...
Friday, December 11, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Wicked Wednesday...The Frosty Edition Part Two
Don't Forget To Watch This Weeks New
Tom and "Friends" Present...!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Monday...Annoying Monday
101 Ways To Annoy People...1 thru 25
1. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
2. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
3. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
4. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
5. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
6. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
7.Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
8.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
9.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
10.Wear a LOT of cologne.
11.Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
12.Sing along at the opera.
13.Mow your lawn with scissors.
14.At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
15. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
16. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
17. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
18. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
19. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
20. Never make eye contact.
21. Never break eye contact..
22. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
23. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
24. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
25. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
1. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
2. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
3. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
4. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
5. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
6. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
7.Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
8.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
9.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
10.Wear a LOT of cologne.
11.Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
12.Sing along at the opera.
13.Mow your lawn with scissors.
14.At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
15. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
16. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
17. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
18. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
19. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
20. Never make eye contact.
21. Never break eye contact..
22. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
23. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
24. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
25. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Wicked Wednesday...One Lonely Joke...But It's A Good One!
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the
door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.
Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.
'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.
'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.
'Love dress? But you're naked!'
'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.
'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.'
The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
'What are you doing?' he asked.
'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'
Joke supplied by my lovely sister who has an equally wicked sense of humor...
door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.
Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered.
'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.
'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.
'Love dress? But you're naked!'
'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.
'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.'
The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
'What are you doing?' he asked.
'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'
Joke supplied by my lovely sister who has an equally wicked sense of humor...
Monday, November 23, 2009
Monday...This Just In!!!
What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?
For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment
Ain't cha glad you read my blog?
For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment
Ain't cha glad you read my blog?
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Saturday...Turkey Fun
For some insane reason I can't post any YouTube videos on my blog...WAAAAA!
So cut and paste this bad boy in and enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlitbJKaYy0&feature=related
P.S. I know I could have done a link here but isn't cutting and pasting more fun? Sorta like doing crafts and such?
So cut and paste this bad boy in and enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlitbJKaYy0&feature=related
P.S. I know I could have done a link here but isn't cutting and pasting more fun? Sorta like doing crafts and such?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Thursday...Countdown To Thanksgiving...Week Three..WARNING Extra Spicy !
20 Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4.If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5.Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6.I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?
20. ????????????????????????????????
OOPS! I only have 19..Help a fellow blogger out will ya..Give me number 20.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday...Stuff
Thursday, November 12, 2009
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